Five months. I have only been a college graduate for five months. And yes, I now am rightfully called an alumnus. And has the reality already sunk in? Negative. When you’re young and still fresh from campus, it might not have sunk in yet. But I get big help from friends who have not yet gotten themselves out of the world of exams and 13-page term papers. They emphasize the need to call me ‘ate’ or part of the ‘board of elders’. They demand that I be given due respect by undergraduates – from the freshmen to those close to graduation.

In the five months that I have ‘danced’ myself out of school, I had been a writer-researcher for three months, a self-confessed bum for a month and a seemingly (and exaggeratingly) ‘one-man communications department’ for the last one.

The writer-researcher job found me at a small printing press/publication managed by the dad of one of my college friends. I got my 10 pounds there. The pressure from the job was nothing compared to the traffic I had to go through every morning and afternoon. So I ate … and ate … and ate … to compensate for the daily weariness. The job, which begun on the day after my very last weekend as a student, left me with no time to sit around pondering about the bittersweet memories and narratives of a person bidding her university and university experiences goodbye. It was good because I hate liquid goodbyes (crying and all). It was bad because I envy my other friends who got the chance to mope around and weep.

The ‘bum-around’ month was refreshing. I only had to produce numerous copies of my resumé and take some qualifying exams and sit through and ‘smile my best’ through company interviews. It was the breather that I needed. Because a breather for me is one still filled with pressure and things to be excited about (even if that means facing 5 or 6 people in a panel interview). Let me tell you that I didn’t get any job from these ‘try-outs’. A bum I have become. Gracefully though, I insist to think.

The last job was a whirlwind thing and a saving grace, I may add. I got a call and started working the same day. And the offer was from my beloved campus organization. You guessed it right. Philippine Campus Crusade for Christ. For me, there was no saying ‘no’. I had to grab it because it’s good exposure and an addend to my writing experience. Plus, I get to work for a cause I want to be my own.

I work closely with the Alumni Mobilization Team. There, that word again. Alumni. Finally, I got the feel of being an alumnus. I work with fellow alumni from the different batches. I write for the alumni website. I scribble promotions for the campus alumni gatherings. I help prepare a production part for the PCCC 35^th anniversary celebration and alumni homecoming. It’s all about being an alumni – what you had then, what you’re missing now and what you shouldn’t.

Everything I did was a drumbeat on having to recollect college memories, getting together with old friends and how God helped me more than survive through university. Alumni. That was it. Finally, a chance for the feeling and the realization to sink in. This is the opportunity for me to be busy, have a breather and sit around recounting those ‘bittersweet memories and narratives’.

Everybody (alumni) wants to go back to the old days. Those days are not yet old for me but they're certainly part of my past. Everybody wants to know what happened to a batchmate. Everybody is excited to organize events for people to meet again and embrace the fact that friendships and adventures are possible beyond graduation.

Finally, I was seating face-to-face with my being ‘out-of-school’. It was a glorious sensation of realizing that I had the biggest academic accomplishment – to graduate (at least for me, it was the biggest). It was an edge that I have, for now I can rightfully give advice to those still in school. It was a challenge to achieve what God wants me to and listen to His leading (and haunting) on where I should be.

For now, I should be here – writing for the Crusade. While the prospect of another job awaits, today, I’m happily typing this reflection, thankful for the word to finally be real to me. It has come alive. Alumni.

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